The Plank is out of my eyes, but too late for WAW?

[Heimlich]

Anybody have any thoughts on the following? Could my W be softening/reconsidering?

July 18
Had all day meetings yesterday, first to plan out my Nov/Dec issue with my associate editor and then strategy meetings around various content products (basically listen to our sales team piss and moan about how hard it is to sell our content products. Grrrrrrr.) OK, it wasn't that bad, but I sometimes want to punch them right in the head. OK, so in meetings from 7:30 to 6:10. Drove to Arthur Murray for my dance lesson (first lesson free as the ad says) as part of my GAL program. I've always wanted to learn to dance, but been afraid of looking like a fool. Decided last week to say 'eff it' and give it a shot. [One of my regrets in life is not learning to tango with my W (granted would have been difficult since I was in grad school in DC and my wife was in Baton Roughe at the time) and busting out the tango about 30 seconds into a sappy ol' first dance wedding song for our first dance. Anyhoo.] A little nervous, because other than the Bart Funky Dance (so named in honor of my college roomate who, being very fond of the herb, would break out some strange hybrid of the twist when very happy from aforementioned herb. Generally followed by a Cheeto treat.), I can't dance. At all.

So, my instructor was a young, VERY attractive young lady. That made me at once a bit more nervous, but was very condusive to a PMA. We spend 45 minutes going over a few basic steps -- waltz, fox trot (I think) and Swing 1 (very basic on that). I had a blast. While she may have been being kind, and as an editor I kind of have a permanent BS meter from always having to deal with marketing people, she did say that I had a good sense of rhythm and it did feel pretty good to move around a little like that. So I signed up for lessons for the next three months. Going to learn the basics for most of ballroom dancing and a little salsa and swing. Looking forward to shaking my groove thing.

By the time that was over, it was about 8:15 or so. Dropped by a bookstore to check to see if my favorite Civil War mag was out yet. It was, so picked up a copy. Then, since my W's bday is today, I went to Safeway to pick up Juju Fruit and other assorted candy and flowers for my W (per my girls' instructions). I had already bought her a battery starter (can plug in to the cig lighter in a car to jump it). Not romantic, but she's killed two batteries in a year, so practical. Plus, the woman is extremely difficult to buy for. While on the way out of Safeway, I decided to walk to the beer store around the corner to check for any new Dogfish Head beers. Saw my W heading into safeway. She was wearing a new sundress and looking very fetching. Told her hello, you look lovely. She asked my about the dance class. Told her it was fun, signed up for lessons, etc. She went into Safeway, I went into the booze store. She said she looked for me, but I had headed home -- wnated to get the flowers inside and hide them for the morning (silly, but wanted to surprise her a little).

Got home. Both tired. Fixed myself something to eat. She came downstairs to tell me good night and gave me a kiss on the lips, a first in a while, before going upstairs to bed. I think she did it on purpose, though I may have been turning toward her. Regardless, she could have pulled back and didn't (she has in the past).

So, I said to myself, "hmmmmm, that was curious."

July 19.

Meetings again. Left at 6:30. Went upstairs before I left to tell her happy birthday. Her kneck was bothering her, offered to help, but she said she'd just lay there until the advil kicked in. Sent her an email around 11 asking if she was OK. She responded saying yes and with a few lines of idle chit-chat. I had offered to take her out tonight, but she wanted Popeyes of all things (not that I'm complaining, luv that chicken). Picked that up for her on the way home. Both tired again, so just some basic, light, H and W, how was your day chatter.

Now's where I get confused. Wished her goodnight and then called our girls to wish them a good night. Our youngest wanted to talk to Mama, so brought the phone upstairs. After a minute or two, W hung up. We chatted for a few seconds, I wished her good night again, and then she blurted out an "I love you" (first time saying that since mid-April). I told her ILY, gave her a hug and went back downstairs. She's had one beer (not a big deal) and some advil, so I know she's not hammered.

On the one hand, I want to be excited. On the other hand, it might've just been a slip. Am I reading too much into this? Is it a positive baby step? A sign of cracking of resolve to move forward with the D? Habit?

I can say that I've been more myself with her in the past few days I've been home than I have in quite a while. Calm, funny, loving, not clingy, really just wanting to talk to her.

Feeling a little dazed and confused,

BD