Yes I am doing better. I am not sure what caused things to turn around so well, but they seem to have. I am meeting my ex this evening to talk and go for a walk with my little dog. He says that he has decided to not get angry and mad over things that can not change. I cant make the old bf move back to florida and neither can he. We will just have to work around that issue.
So i guess I will let you know how things go. I can only hope that he has found guidance on this website and forum...
Shiloh
Married 8/2000 EA 11/2007 Divorced 4/2007 No Children
I love my ex-husband...but i dont know how to get our life back....
That's good news! Let's trust that he's being honest about deciding not to get angry aver things that he cannot control or change. Dogs are a terrific focal point!
Me 37; W 35; 2 dogs M 8 years; before that, dated 9 years Bomb #1: 10/13/2006 (day after my birthday) Bomb #2: 1/15/2007 I am finding strength I never thought I had
We had a lovely time. We didn't do much other than talk, play with the dog and go to the go-cart track to watch the cars. We had a lite dinner out on his deck before i had to go home to work. I think we both want to work on things, but we are understanding that things must be done S L O W.
I came home to fits from the bf, who really is more of a roomate. He has a very drama laden life and I don't choose to take part in it. I said my comings and goings were not his concern as I am letting him stay so he will not have to live on the street.
So... :)Thanks for your concern!
Shiloh
Married 8/2000 EA 11/2007 Divorced 4/2007 No Children
I love my ex-husband...but i dont know how to get our life back....
shiloh, I have to agree with keepingit. First of all, I don't think your houseguest wrecked anything. You all were obviously having problems...she just brought the problems to light.
Second, if you are serious about making a go of your marriage with your ex, you need to get rid of the bf. Even though you say that he's more like a roommate, you're still calling him bf, and he's obviously still acting like one (throwing fits because you're spending time with the ex).
Personally, I think you need time for you. Get rid of the bf, and take time out for yourself. You may find that you don't want your ex.
Me - 48 (at time of 1st bomb) H - 43 married - 16 Jul 94 no children 1st bomb - (said he was leaving) - 3 Jun 06 2nd bomb (said he was ready to file) - 10 Nov 06 H filed divorce - 17 Nov 06 Divorce finalized - 20 Jul 07
I understand what the others are saying, but if I were in your situation, I would tap every contact I had to get bf a job. I would be very reluctant to throw any friend or former friend out on the street with nowhere to go--and especially not one who seems as helpless as this one is. It is possible to discard people without any fanfare, and without caring what will happen to them, because we want someone else, but I'm not sure that this is what you want to be doing. You want him out of your life as quickly as possible, though. And, as Alamogirl says, he is still acting like a boyfriend, throwing fits of jealousy.
What does your ex think about the situation? You both seem to want to work on your relationship. I assume that you've talked to him about the bf's drama. Since your ex was compassionate enough to let a female friend (though she was not his gf) live with the two of you in your house when she was having hard times, I would think that he would understand why you haven't yet turned the bf loose with no job. But he may NOT understand, as many would not, or he may not trust that the relationship is dead. How your ex feels about it is the important thing, I would think. Your relationship with him seems smoother now. I hope that the two of you are being very open with each other.
