Do I buy a house? What about sex?

[Trixi]

*wave*.

Hm.. you didnt answer the question in the way i was hoping.. was hoping to hear how you had tackled the "lets do 15 hours" _recently_
What was the "more intense" approach that you took, that backfired?

Basically nagging. I was damned either way. If I never brought it up, nothing happened. If I brought it up and he was resistant or said no, still nothing had happened AND I was bugging him and getting in his space. Too needy.
Easily solved had he spent the time with me. Vicious circle.

Do you have a thread of your own?

nope. you might say I'm "hiding". but still trying to learn, while I do.

i had one on "that other site", which is why i know so much about those principles. (avoiding mentioning it to avoid searches picking up this account of mine)


but i believe my wife found it, and it undermined the efforts I was making. and in one case, caused horrible horrible damage... (through misunderstanding)... possibly prompting her to serve papers on me. she's never admitted it, but I'm fairly sure, at this point.

i stopped posting there, both because of that, but also because those methods did not serve my marriage. or at least, the forum posters there didnt. So narrow-minded, and in some cases, hateful.

Over here, there is more acknowlegement, that an MLC needs a different approach than a straightforward affair. (they dont even acknowlege the concept, really).

My wife is on her... 5th? online affair.
Way MLC.

Yes, it's fairly rigid over there and I think that is part of what my H was objecting to.

I am so MAD right now. I know I shouldn't be mad, but he's going out to see a band tonight. He is acting cordial and distant.

I did say that I was feeling angry that he didn't hold up his end of the promise to do the 15 hours and he just goes "hmmm." and sorta shrugged and gives me a look like "so?"

So then I was really mad and said "When are you getting an apartment?" and (he was on the computer) said "I'm looking."

I hate this. HATE IT. And I cry when I get po'd, so that's of no help to me.