How does that happen that we can not tell our spouses these things freely?
My H is not a talker at all. Sometimes I wonder how we even got together because I am social. Now that things are looking good I want to initaite a R talk but hesitate because I know H will be nervous as I know he is trying to just put it behind him and this is how he'll do it. I can not do that. I need to know at least the rough draft on what went through his head and where he is now so that I can go from here and heal.
Do I make any sense?
JAk
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
How does that happen that we can not tell our spouses these things freely?
My H is not a talker at all. Sometimes I wonder how we even got together because I am social. Now that things are looking good I want to initaite a R talk but hesitate because I know H will be nervous as I know he is trying to just put it behind him and this is how he'll do it. I can not do that. I need to know at least the rough draft on what went through his head and where he is now so that I can go from here and heal.
Do I make any sense?
Makes total sense to me I feel the exact same way. And My W Seems to be like you husband.
Husband
Last edited by husband; 07/19/0705:34 PM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I think Saffie's last long post to you was really helpful and on target. I'm so sorry about your leg!
Your wife seems to be inching her way back to you--probably because of the expertly cooked, nasty snails, I have no doubt of it, and all of your other efforts. And who knows? Maybe goggling at Olive and Yoyo in their state of nature had some effect, too. I just think, like Saffie, that she may not quite know how to reconnect.
She seems to want to be with you. She must have had a nice time on your vacation--and you sure went all out for her.
Give it more time. I am not giving up. I do feel alot more detached. I really do theo, I know this because I have lost trust in her. Before I was grabing and any morsal of kindness she would toss my way. NOW I don't trust any kindness she throws my way. Weiord things keep happening, I had to call her about picking up my son today. I said Hi how are you doing her: Fine and how are you doing?. She has not returned a how are you doing in years. her usual responce would be "OK" and thats it. I think with this GALing she is seeing that she really does not know what to expect from me anymore.
here is a litte FYI Here is something that has happened to me that should not have with all this drama. I have another confession. I have bitten my finger nails for the last 40 years. I would do this whenever I got nervus or excited. about a month ago I just stopped. You would think that with all of this I would be down to my bloody finger tips.
And Delia, Everytime I see that Carrie Underwood video I think of you...
Husband
Last edited by husband; 07/19/0707:17 PM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
It was just walking down the hill that got me. I have actually parking 2 parking lots down from where I work now so I can get some exercise. The pains in my leg are phantom pains. My leg was cut off 4 inches above my knee in a car accident. I have learned to tune it out but sometimes at night it feels like someone is jabbing pins in it. My nerves are still there but my brain does not know the leg is gone. It is like the pain we feel here. We can tune it out and everything is ok. But sometimes when it is quite our mind starts thinking about it and the hurt returns. Coming down the hill though did cause some blisters
NO MEDS TODAY Husband
Last edited by husband; 07/20/0712:31 AM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
It's amazing how your brain can play tricks on you. You seem to be handling things well. It's great that you are able to get off the meds. I started taking Lexapro in Feb. to calm my nerves and anxiety. I know I'm not ready to get off of it yet. I didn't get my prescription filled for a couple of days and I sure could tell the difference. I was kinda weepy, not bad, but I did get a little teary eyes at times thinking about things. I figure I will work on getting off of it after the D is final. It is a very low dose so it shouldn't be hard. It's amazing though when I started thinking about going to the dr. for something a lot of my friends told me that they took anti-depressants, and I had no idea they were on them. So I guess they are far more common than I thought.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
