Being Me, I still feel bad if I let my W down, go figure! I think recognition of our traits, habits etc is a good first step to changing them. Often we can say no without seeming offensive too, we just believe that the other party will be devastated before we even say the words, we're already operating from a defecit position. Try it out in small ways first and graduate upwards. With your neice just politely say "F@ck no, I won't go!" I'm sure it will be fine
