Well, no one can know what is in another's mind (although I wish I could), but I agree with your point about blocking out the good times. My husband seems to have forgotten all of them! I am not at the point where I think he will "remember" them with my reminders, so I am not doing that right now. He is in denial about it, and nothing is going to change that right now. Maybe she is unhappy with herself and putting it all on you. That is what I think my husband is doing. I am the reason for his unhappiness in his mind. So now I have to find a new approach. If your wife didn't stay at her own apartment when she could have, I would guess she is playing martyr and looking for people to feel sorry for her. From what I have seen in other people's situations,it is a very common thing to do. I say let her stew in her own juices. She should get sick of hopping from couch to couch soon!
There is always hope if I'm responsible for my own behavior.
