Thanks for the reply Dom.
I know what you are saying-totally. I just don't feel I have the leverage to get the desired result.

The way he phrased it "Some women say "You better quit doing XYZ or you don't get to be with me"" makes me think that if I say "Okay, buddy, you better do the 15 hours you agreed to or you don't get to be with me", he would say "I don't want to be with you-that's why I am moving out."
KWIM?

Me-43
H-46
M 12 yrs 7/09
T 15
2 grown kids
bomb 7/05/07
H moved out 8/04/07
11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling
Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D
End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing