Yes it's been quiet here...SR continued

[JR2007]

"I just think that we’re both good people, we both made mistakes. I’m not here to say who is more wrong or whatever, because in the end, it just doesn’t matter does it? I felt it went too far down for me to go back at this point. It totally blows. It’s like a waste of all the times we had together. It separates 3 people that will never be as good apart as they were together. And that’s just not fair.

I think this comes from pride and the opinions of other people. It's never too late unless you're dead. But, when your W has 10 people in her ear telling her how much better off she'll be, how much happier she'll be, how she can do so much better, etc. She starts believing it. And she's made a really hard decision to bail - yes, it is hard for them, no doubt. Think about when you've made a really hard decision, how easy is it to go back on the decision? SUPER hard. You feel dumb, you feel foolish for doing it, and you don't go back on it despite knowing it's a wrong move - that is PRIDE. Pride is the #1 (or #2) killer of marriages.

OK, maybe she would be better off, BUT how does she know for sure? come back work on it sincerely, and figure it out together. If you come to the conclusion, TOGETHER, that you don't belong together, fine! but don't make a unilateral decision based in High emotion that will ultimately change your life forever! Take some time, talk about it, don't argue, don't blame, don't look to the past (you can't change the past) and talk about what the future might look like. talk about what you both want out of the R. Make it very specific and see if you match up. If not, well at least you gave it a valiant shot and didn't bail without taking a long logical look at things. I think this way you can at least part with fewer regrets. that works for both parties. If you can make it work, GREAT! If not, you part knowing you did everything you could. Some people may not be compatible, who knows...