I have to go along with whatisis on this one...at this stage of your situation that would be like rubbing her face in poop...she would not be receptive and it would be an overt attempt on your part to pull her closer which will have the opposite effect...it is one of those basic laws of building attraction even in a decent situation...
You have to walk the fine line I think in your situation right now...the fine line is walking that tightrope by being kind and compassionate yet not being a doormat or real accessible to her and around to pick up her slack like when she had car trouble and you ran out to help her...I remember when I was separated my wife called me one morning to tell me that she had a flat and my response was, "I am sorry this happened to you and wish I could do something right now but I have a meeting I have to attend this morning (or tell a little white lie if you have to) and I can give you the OnStar number"...it shows concern but it forces her to feel what it is like to have to deal with these things on her own...you can't make this easy for her and it can't be completely on her terms and timetable...this in turn helps preserve your dignity which will only serve you in a positive way down the line no matter what happens...keep on GAL as you have been...this will also serve you in the long run...you have to keep in mind this is as much about you as it is about her...
I think given some time, you wife will start to be curious about this busy man of mystery you are becoming...once you have truly worked on yourself, you will be genuine and she will see it...I believe like my wife, she has gone through alot of crap in her life which has caused her to be afraid and maybe overreact to anything you may have done...she is just seeking peace and a comfortable place to land which is what we all want in our life...once you have made your changes and they are genuine she could very well see you as the safe oasis and rock she can have a peaceful and happy life with...when you look at the situation in this way, it makes some rational sense and hopefully brings you some peace of mind...I believe deep down she wants to feel safe in giving your marriage a try again but she is afraid...it is up to you to be the strong guy who will provide that safe haven to her yet be soft and gentle with her...women are so much more adept at assessing the genuineness of one's actions that to do this in a superficial or cursory manner would be the death of your marriage...besides, you get the benefit of being a better person which is not a bad deal either...
Last but certainly not least, rely on your faith...it was the biggest source for peace of mind during my hard times...the meditative elixir of prayer and letting go for His will to be done was relaxing...it helped my self esteem too because I knew even if I somehow spent the rest of my life alone I knew I would never be alone because He and His love was with me and I did have worth..."letting go" was a biggie too for me because I had been controlling...letting Him be in control was the final frontier of me shedding that overbearing controlling way I had for nearly all my life and I have to tell you that it was so freeing and empowering that I smile even now when I think about it...I should have had more faith in Him throughout my life because religion has always been a big part of my life but better late than never and I have never looked back since...it is like I had to be brought to my knees of despair and anxiety before I made the complete and wholesale changes I should have made long ago...He humbled me completely when He allowed my marriage to be preserved and I will never take anything concerning my marriage or my faith for granted again...believe me, I am no heretic that will ever get in anyone's face about religion because I feel strongly it is an extremely personal issue but I have to say nothing cured me of my controlling ways more than my faith...lol, maybe once I knew someone competent was running things I felt I could let go!!!
God Bless you all!!
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads...=5&o=31&fpart=1
