just back from the gym. not a great w/o. actually, the w/o itself was good, but I just wallowed/got sucked into bad thoughts almost the whole time. nothing seemed to help. just kept thinking about him and that it just feels like I'm giving him permission to have the OW as long as he wants, that I'll just be here waiting for him. because essentially, that is what I am doing. I'm not ready to ask for a D, I don't want our marriage to be over, so realistically, there is no consequence. no, he doesn't get to live here, and he doesn't get to have me until it is over, but that doesn't seem to bug him all that much.
this all just sucks.
gonna take a shower and have a good cry while the kids watch little bear. as my mother would say, I'm having a good case of the woe-is-me's.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
