Kicking him off the fence

[Yoyowife]

Olive,
It's amazing how much we put up with isn't it? I put up with so much from my H. Even after I found out about the affair I would invite him over for dinner and often he would spend the night. I was doing everything in the world to make him see what a wonderful wife I was. He would stay a few days and then decide this just wasn't going to work. This went on through May, hence the name Yoyowife. It is all about their needs and what makes them happy. They have no regard for their spouses and their families. My youngest DD16 when she found out that he was cheating with his secretray made the comment "Mom, he not only cheated on you, he cheated on me." Why is it that a child can see that but the adulterer is so blind? Olive, even though your sitch is a little different from mine because you are living togehter, he is still disrespecting you. You are right you have to set boundaries. No one can tell you what those boundaries should be except you, but please think about it. He will walk all over you as long as you allow it. I allowed my H to walk all over me, yes, Theo told me he was and I knew it , but I was too weak to stop it. It got me nowhere, we are still getting a divorce, but now I'm working on getting my life back in order. There are definitely rough days and I do have pity parties, but it's time for me to move on. I don't want to be with the man he has become. I'm still in love with the man I married, but he's not that man right now. Don't let your life get like mine, please stand up to him, you may be able to save your marriage. That's what Dobson's book says,if you stand up to them you may be able to get their respect back and make the marriage work. Don't be weak like I was and too afraid to try Michelle's Ultimatum or Dobson's Tough Love. Believe me it was hard telling you all of my shortcomings, but if it gives you or someone else a chance to save their marriage, then I feel better.