20 Years Down.....and I'm Confused

[bambam1970]

Don't feel alone...you have so many friends here. I wish I had something of value to post to everyone like you do. You are here helping so many of us even when you are going through all of this yourself. You're awesome...You could never be alone here.

Thanks Upside. Your kind words are much appreciated!

Hi sweets - being on a different time zone, I miss you posting sometimes !!! But I always check on you and LOVE to read your posts....we are going through SUCH similar stuff !!!! WOW !

Ok why can't it totally be stuff like having a million $$$$ or a devoted H who cherishes us or being around the world travelers that we have in common???????

I hope you're ok now and the angriness (sp) has subsided !!

Uhhh, less anger, but not gone. I called him this AM to make plans for the kids. I was short and to the point, but kind. When I took them to him, he acted a little uncomfortable and I pretty much ingnored him. Told him to call me when kids were coming home. He said "they can stay w/me pretty much the whole day." I said "That's fine. Let me know." The end.

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Not just w/H, but a lot of things are going on for me right now. Family dynamics not so good(brothers and sisters)...never thought my family would be so yucky, but they are. A good friend lost her dad yesterday to lung cancer. We've had so many talks about our dads b/c mine had lung cancer and passed 1 1/2 yrs ago. I will go to the viewing tomorrow and see her and it is bringing back some pretty hard memories today. And...D8 is really struggling. So...pretty much I'm done today.

I think it's neat that you are wearing that ring. It symobolizes something different than your M, but still keeps connection which is good. I stopped wearing my wedding rings several months ago, but wore the mother's ring H gave me. Now I wear no rings. No reason, but just don't.

Thanks for checking in gals! You help keep me going