What you're describing is usually referred to around here as "loving detachment". Just a word of caution - your ability to feel detached will come and go, like all the other parts of the crazy emotional roller coaster. Glad you are starting to feel it though - it helps a lot. Remember, it's not about losing all feelings for her, it's about losing dependence on those feelings in order to have your own happiness.
You sound like you are doing a good job, and 'getting it' in a lot of ways. Good for you. The most important thing I can tell you: Give it TIME AND PATIENCE. Progress comes in baby steps, with regular setbacks. As long as you can recognize those and keep the 'long view', you've got a great chance of reinventing yourself (you absolutely gotta do this!) and your marriage (you gotta keep hoping!)
Hang in there! Rob
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
