If you really mean it just tell her you'll respect her wishes and tell her you'll be there for her.
what else can you do?
This is the best advice. She does not trust you, but I am sorry, she sounds like she still cares. Someone who does not give a hoot would not write like that. It is like a plea for attention. What is that about? Just respond that you are glad that she came into your life. That will put the focus on the original love from your past. Put yourself out there with no ego and say you will always be there for her. Do not pursue her. DBing takes a lot of patience. I do not want to give you false hope but I have said all those things to my H and now I am the one DBing! I still wish my H would leave me alone and go away from the kids and me so that I can heal. I want my old H back but I have no idea where he went. She may be going through that confusion too.
I really wish I had answers to more specific questions, but other than what I have already mentioned she hasn't opened up about things. I can say the money we spent on a boat she didn't like was a problem, there were times I didn't want to go out with her friends, and that was a problem. She felt I micromanaged money spent. She worked hard and felt that was not fair. All of those things are legit. I was using those things as therapy for being stressed about work, and life in general. Now that I have spent a year understanding and adapting a positive way of dealing with everyday situations I feel much better. But I feel the impact of my previous actions and perhaps something I don't even know have effected her greatly. Through her email it seems that she was wanting to open up about her pain but just won't. The last thing I am going to do is push. Of course complcating this entire things is another man. What kind of man seeks a sad wife and pushes to break up a marriage and family. Maybe I shouldn't go there. I just hope for one more chance to show the man she fell in love with.
