So I just got off the phone with a former friend. He heard that her and I were finally done and found me.
It ends up that her and him had an affair 5yrs ago that they kept behind my back. I thought it was just an EA. He called to tell me he was sorry and that he thought I finally deserved the truth for some closure.
This is just too much...friggin soap operas don't have this many twists.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
This is just too much...friggin soap operas don't have this many twists.
I see why he is a former friend. Man start just being you and forget about her for now. Everything is out of your control so don't obsess with it. I feel your pain, wish I could do more.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Ok, I am going to get a little tough here. I mean it in the best way though.
You need to let go as much as possible. I understand about being with someone for a long time and then having to learn to be alone. I have been with my H a total of 20 years, married 18 (less the 2 years he has been gone). I know what it is like to feel your heart ripped out. I didn't think I could do it on my own because I relied on him for everything. Well, I fooled myself. I am doing fine on my own.
I have not given up hope yet. I used to wake up each day wondering if that was going to be the day that he would send me divorce papers. Believe me, my life was miserable. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep or even function. It was a wonder my boss kept me. I cried all the time. I hated life. I was ready to give up.
Then, it hit me. I was put in this situation for a reason. God only gives us what we can handle. You learn to deal with things. I guess the purpose of my H leaving was to make me "grow up". I have learned a lot since my H left. I can do things on my own. H has even learned to live on his own without me doing his laundry, cleaning up after him. He goes to the grocery store (which he hates). We have both grown up.
I am taking all of this and holding onto it. Once day H will come home and we won't have to depend on each other as much. We will be able to live happily because we had this chance to grow.
Take this time to help yourself "grow". Stop dwelling on the what ifs. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You have a lot of growing to do. I know you can do it though.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
I'm alive. I just have no news to really share so I lurk. The only news that I have is my S is seriously considering living with me full time. My STBX is with her boyfriend in Arizona picking up a horse this weekend. So I had two days of uninterrupted time with my kids. That was glorious. I only cried twice..once when I was dropping them off today.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Latest email from the W after begging me for more money...
Quote:
one more thing and then i will leave you alone...can you please tell your mother to keep her nose out of the horses..if i have to hear one more time that "Noni said you should have bought my horse first." i am going to scream..unless your mother wants to fork over the cash to buy and board a horse she needs to shut up
My reply....
Quote:
I just had to revisit something here.
"one more thing and then I will leave you alone..."
I'm sorry you don't miss talking to me, because I surely do you. I just wanted you to know that.
She probably expected me to say something snotty back given the "tone" of the email...I hope that's a 180 that will jar her out of the saddle a little.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Yeah I had someone tell me once that's what I should do. Smother him in kindness, be his best friend, and if he moves on with someone else be really nice and sweet to her.
Um.. yeah... not so sure I could do that last part.
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
Um.. yeah... not so sure I could do that last part.
I think that 7 and I would have to road trip there and slap some sense into you for the last portion...
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
