Where is my wife?

[fearless]

... a lot of this is about me "plowing" through the first and second level defenses and being confident in who I am. In the past I had "packaged" myself as a man who didn't know what he wanted and didn't care enough to be steadfast in his life goals. I was inadvertently training her to disrespect me because I didn't respect myself. A perfect example of what blackfoot used to call "mirroring." Give your W a model of how you want your R to be and she can run with it, good or bad. I'm just running with the good now. I like to sit and stare at her now while I think about having sex with her. Really gets her unnerved. Works a lot better than sitting there complaining about her being on the computer too much. LOL

Chrome, Am I reaching too far to say that it sounds like you have done some work on yourself and your attitude about yourself? You "sound" much more confident and even when you mention what is still left to improve with your relationship you sound more excited about the challenge rather than down about what is left.

Are you still seeing the counselor and talking about what you want in life?

Oh and I think the respecting yourself has MANY positive effects. First like you mentioned it is hard for people to respect people who do not respect themselves - the mirroring you refer to. And second it would be hard for you to respect your wife if you do not respect yourself.

Have your health concerns and your wife's concerns been completely dealt with? I think I remember seeing that your wife had started taking some hormones. Is she still and has that helped?

AND most importantly have a very Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!