WAW1978's adventures in DB'ing

[waw1978]

Hey Stillme!

I don't know exactly what it will take for me to recoup the love for my H. For starters he needs to back off right now, I have pretty much resigned myself to being "emotionally divorced" from him, it was the only way to protect myself after years of hurting. once i did that, what he did and said no longer mattered as I wasn't emotionally or physically attached or connected to him anymore. He needs to stop trying to control me, tring to mold me into the person he wants me to be and start loving me, really loving me for who I am. He needs to start supporting my decisions, my wants, my dreams and stop being a selfish SOB always putting himself, his family and even our daughter above me on his priority list. Right now he is not doing this. He needs to start validating that I am the person he loves, not this person he tried to make me for years. he has yet to be able to acknowledge whether this is even possible for him.

Those are just the beginning of what would sway me. But he is no where near this yet. Most recently having me spend time with his family and outright lie to save face was very selfish of him. he never should have asked or expected that, but he did. And I caved! I have a lack of boundaries with him which lead to much of this marital discord. I let him get away with this stuff and I own that outright. Thats something I need to change on my part. I need to stop trying to be someone he can love. Either he does or he doesn't but I can't keep trying to be someone I am not just to please him.