Once appon a time I was falling in love, now I am only falling apart. Nothing I can do a total eclipse of my heart. I believe I have detached too far. I really don't think I love my W anymore. I do prefer to stay together for my son's sake but that's it. Theo, I will be giving you a call later. Not sure of the time zone issue. Funny thing last night when I went to bed, (my turn in OUR room). My W purse was in there. Backing up a little when all of this first started her cell phone and purse NEVER left her side. One time when she put her purse in our son's room before bed time. (Her night to sleep with him). I made a comment (stupid I know)."What you don't trust Me.?” She said all her make-up and stuff she needs is in there that's why she keeps it with her. But last night it was there on the chair by her side of out bed. Before I closed the door I told her "your purse is in here". When I woke up this morning it was still there. (NO Theo I did not snoop, I really don't even want to snoop anymore). She may be coming around. She may be on her journey back to me but it may be too late. I have finished the book. I understand how I was conquered and no longer a challenge for her. Life got boring. She was not happy. What she does not understand is nobody can make you happy. This is something you need to do yourself. Sure people can be fun to be around. That was probably me when we first got married. But true happiness is found within. We all need to understand this. We all believed when we found out that our spouses cheated on us that they took our happiness with them. This is not true. Yes they made us sad. They hurt us deeply. They attacked us form inside our circle. But we were happy before we were married to them.Happyness is not something they gave us. We already had it. They added to it but we already had it. I do not need my wife to be happy. The only thing that is left now is I prefer to live with her because I prefer my son live in a home with both parents. I am not sad right now even though it may sound that way. I just feel like you do when the party is over ya had fun now it’s time to clean up. My sitch is soooooo small when I compare it to all of yours. I believe my W is comfortable with our sitch right now. Married living as room mates. That’ fine with me but we need to be playing under the same rules. I have a confession to make. I could not sleep Monday night because of the pains in my leg. My leg was all black and blue on my hip and my thigh inside had some open blisters from the hike. I did take some meds. I am off them now but they are probably still in my system. I’m just venting / thinking out loud right now. I really am not sad.
Husband
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
