Kicking him off the fence

[Dr LOve]

Hey olive,

here is somthing out of the book I am reading. It is talkingabout a wife but just replace that with husband (yours not me)

1. “I don’t love you anymore”
Usually when someone calls me, they’re separated. But when let’s say the husband calls me,
the most common complaint that he hears from his wife is “I don’t love you anymore.” The
implication is that of course they have to separate. I try to help him see that most people, and
in this case the wife does, have low self-esteem and that he is head-over-heels in love with her
and she knows that. So therefore, she subconsciously looks down on him as being an idiot for
being in love with her. He has the diagnosis that she doesn’t have any reasons for not being
in love with him anymore, and sometimes she does. She’ll say, “Oh, you neglected me. You
were not there for me when I needed you.” That’s a real common one.
So I help him see that those are excuses and not the real reason. Because if they were the real
reason, then when he said, “I’m willing to work on that. Let me help you understand why I
wasn’t there one hundred percent for you.” Then she would respond positively and say,
“Well, you’re going in the right direction. What can I help you do to keep moving in this
direction of being there for me, of being more understanding?” She never responds positively
to that, showing that’s not the real thing.
She will say, “It’s too little, too late.” Well, why is it too little, too late? That’s not really
what’s going on. What’s really going on is since he’s head-over-heels in love with her, she
has lost respect for him. She has an ego problem, and she can’t conquer her ego problem by
saying to herself, “I’m so proud of myself that I conquered this idiot.” Most of the time, the
man sees it and begins to move in a more independent direction.
Like I said exchange wife for husband.

Husband