When's it my turn?

[Rob1231]

I know he was trying to be nice, but it just made me crazy. He'd already done something else similar to that exact same thing a few minutes earlier.

I guess it's a combination of him not giving me the space I need right now coupled with his incredibly destructive (to him and us) pattern of being the pleaser, the "good guy." He wouldn't watch the wrap up b/c I hadn't seen the whole show...even when I told him to...because it would ruin it for me.

Why am I so freaking angry? *I* feel like an alien....

A couple observations here, SD.

First, remember that if you get angry - that's all about YOU, not about him. He can't MAKE you angry, because he has no control over you. So ask yourself, is this something you want to be angry over? Why? This incident honestly seems like a small thing, viewed by me from the outside - so, what is the payoff you are getting here by working yourself up?

Second, I'm a little puzzled by your statement that his being a pleaser is incredibly destructive to him and to both of you. I agree, if every single action he takes is submissive and self-sacrificing, that's no good. But a LITTLE bit of self-sacrifice and consideration seems like a good thing to me - it shows he is trying to take your feelings into account. I guess my question is, even if he hasn't done a complete 180, is he doing at least a better job of balancing looking out for you and looking out for himself? Are there baby steps to be acknowledged there?

I may be totally off base here so - FWIW! Hope you are feeling more cheerful and on top of things soon.