Kicking him off the fence

[Hope_11]

Olive,

I think that my H and your H have very similar behaviors. They are both still with OW, but don't want our M to end. They don't want to lose us because they will never find another woman that is half the women that we are. They cannot face their own demons and that is why they are living like this and as long as we let them they will continue. They don't want to make the "wrong" decision and "regret" anything. Our H's should stop all the worrying....they already made the wrong decision and are living a life full of regret.

I don't know how much you have been following my threads but I thought this might help you. One event happened in my sitch that broke the camel's back. My H was seriously talking about coming back and spending time with me during April and May, but when I found out that he was making plans to go to OW's family reunion in June, I decided that I was done. One week after I told him it was over, he called my mom and told her that we needed to make a decision. I finally got so angry, I just laid into him and told him the truth. "You have some nerve being with OW for 8 months when you don't even have the balls to D me." I felt a lot better a few days later. It was a whole new sense of freedom and confidence. Like you, I don't want to get D either, but I don't want to be married to a lying, cheating H that could give a rat's @ss about anyone but himself. I don't think that he has it in him to change, so it's his loss. I was willing to give him a second chance, he just wasn't man enough to take it. I hope I didn't ramble on too much, just trying to help you see another side.