So its official. My login for this website does not work from my home PC. Strange ay?
Definitely strange -- I don't understand this at all, and since I'm pretty much technologically inept, I don't have any suggestions on what it could be, what you could do, etc. Of course, I guess I could practice my newly acquired DBing skills on you by simply listening and validating, but now that I said that it wouldn't seem very since sincere!
How noble of you to tough it out through the 5 days worth of H's family functions. I totally sympathize with you having to lie to the family -- it's an moral dilemma, and you choosing to lie (which wasn't really a bad lie IMO) for your H says something about where you heart is. You still care about H enough to do this, so somewhere deep down inside you still have strong feelings for him. They just need to resurface, and it will obviously take a lot of effort on H's part before they re-emerge. As Michele says (though primarily to the LBS, I believe), you will have to do the lion's share of the work the save your M. I know it seems impossible right now, but it sounds like H got his first realization of the kinds of things he will have to do to get you reinvested in the M. He now realizes that his pushing (asking you to do things with him and such) is only distancing you further away from him. Hopefully he will now show you that he gets this.
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I know it took a lot of your LBS a long time for things to click but you have no idea what your WAS were going through. The range of emotions is just stunning. I feel hurt, neglected, angry, inferior and most of all helpless.
This was really important for me to hear -- I kept putting it in the context of my W (hearing her say it), and it helped to remind me how much she suffered when I didn't. I imagine that it was for several years, and this knowledge helps me to realize how long of a road to having her even WANT to reinvest in the M I have to travel.
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I took us years to get here, will it take us years to get through this too?
Don't want to be pessimistic, but it very well might. I see it being this way for my M, if ever. It's been over 8 months now, and I still see I have a long way to go. If you are in for the long haul, you must think in terms of months or years rather than weeks regarding how long it will take to save and repair your M.
Keep your head up, waw. H just took a baby step -- it is progress!
