I completely identify with the impudent child thought. Even my C says that my W is acting like some love-struck teenager with the OOM and Internet behavior. I cannot understand how such a perfect wife as mine has reverted to this kind of immature, totally selfish behavior.
As with you, I will probably have to deal with a range of emotions and thoughts emanating from her. We must accept the fact that this is reality. Like it or not, this is the situation and we must do our best to DB. My monumental tasks are to make me better and provide for my children, not stabilize or try to control my W.
How distant is too distant? For this, my friend, I have no answer. I can only offer this: put away the defenses, you are not at war with her.
Me: 40 She: 31 S: 5 D: 3 Married: 8 years (05 DEC 99) Blow-up: 02 JUN 07 Piecing (More like Ostriching): 22 FEB 08