CDM34 from your last post, I can see that things could have gotten steamy from the OM POV. I can see opportunity and possibly motive from a male mindset.
What I didn't see in the posts you put on this thread, was that he thought you were all lathered up.
Yes, I can imagine the attention you felt was there, was exciting. That is a somewhat normal behavior of people who feel lonely or are missing something in their life. BTDT myself.
even when he literally begged me to let him come over to the house the other night while his W was out of town, I said absolutely not. He was begging you to let him come to your house? Well that is a step too far on his part.
It's good you said "NO" and if I was in your position, I would tell this guy you intend to put all of your energies, efforts, and time into your M, and you don't need any outside activities or influences to keep you from carrying out that plan.
I would say that you don't want or need his/your communications to continue in either direction. If he does communicate with you, you will forward the messages to his W and your H. Ask him to do the same.
Delia when I posted here, I was just doing a girly bonding kind of thing and trying to make Cades feel better. OK, I understand a little better now. I saw that girl-bonding thing lots of time on another LBS type of forum.
I can see how she might feel humiliated by the brevity of H's friend's message. Absolutely! I agree.
I didn't respond to his email yesterday. He then texted me today "how are you." I'm still just ignoring his emails/texts, although I feel like texting back "have husband. no texts please." And, yes, Lou, he did literally beg me to allow him to come over to my house the night his W was out of town. I told him that we are both married and want to keep it that way. I also told him that I would never cheat on my H after I've worked my a$$ off to save my M.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Now he just called the cell phone, but I just didn't answer it. He didn't leave a message.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I think it is time that you send him a message to stay away from you. I also think that you should Cc your hubby a copy of the note, and send him a separate note that details what you are having to deal with.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
I'd also check to see if there is a way to set up your cell phone to block his calls.
Also, if he does happen to leave a suggestive message, I have used the free service at gotvoice.com to retrieve voicemail messages and save them as .mp3 files.
The problem I am dealing with is that he & W are actually "family friends." More H's friends, because OM works or worked and will probably still work w/ H when he gets back and when 2nd son was about 2 or so H and oldest son would go w/ OM & his W on their boat all the time fishing & stuff. I stayed home w/ little son, but oldest son really bonded w/ them -- they are "Andy&Kelly" to him (all one word if you know what I mean). Usually for 2 younger sons, we just have family bday parties until they are bit older, but some close family friends are always invited and they are ones that are invited. I guess I'm trying to somehow salvage all of that, but not allow the 'other stuff' to continue.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
The problem I am dealing with is that he & W are actually "family friends."
Then just say that to him: "If you were any other guy, I would have forwarded your messages to my H and would never speak to you again. Since our families are friends, I would prefer we just put all of this behind us. You will never say anything inappropriate to me again and I will pretend like you have never said anything inappropriate to me. However if you choose to say or write ANYTHING suggestive to me again, I will talk to my husband about it."
I stand by what I said, men don't take "no" from a woman. I am surprised the text from your H didn't do the trick. You can warn him once, but in the end, only your husband can make him stop.
Well, actually it wasn't a text from H, he called him and was just joking w/ OM about "harrassing his W." I had told H about the texts b/c I knew that we didn't have texting on the cell plan so it was going to show up on the bill. At first, I thought this was innocent texting -- just "how are you doing" stuff so I had texted him back. H actually thinks that this OM is perfectly "safe" and kind of left him to check in on us every once in awhile.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
