Thanks waw -- your input is always appreciated and highly valued here!
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I think at this point with the D coming up, you are almost at the "nothing to lose" stage of the game.
I agree with that -- I know I said in any earlier post that I was afraid that this "last stand talk" would just set me back in regard to all of the hard earned changes I've made. However, I realize that even if it did, it is worth taking the chance. W does need to know my heart one last time before this thing goes through. I also like all of your suggestions on where to go with the talk, and will work on figuring out how to revise it with these suggestions in place.
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You never know, maybe she doesn’t want to push through with the D either.
I hear you, waw, but how could she not? She denied the unfiling request, and although I feel like it could've been simply because I didn't talk with her about it but instead did it via our attys, she nonetheless didn't talk to me about it. Also, she has now been living with OM at his house, and has told the kids that OMs house is now her house too. She's making more steps toward being serious with OM, and though I sometimes wonder if this is just because she (and maybe he) is struggling financially, it still makes me wonder if there really is any hope to bust this D in time. Also, I don't think W would be willing to put the D on hold because such a move would likely interfere with her R with OM. Your thoughts on the above?
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D is a very big step but from all of our experienced DB’ing friends on here we know this isn’t the nail in the coffin. It’s just another obstacle to overcome.
That's how I see it too, and I believe that the window is open all the way until she remarries. During our conversation where she stated she was ready call it quits (this was after we had already separated) she even said that, "Who knows, we could be back together four or five years down the road. My boss just remarried her ex after being D'd for five years." That statement has always stuck in my head, though it could've just been something to make me feel a little better and nothing more. Regardless, I know that we might just need a clean slate with no pressure or expectations. Of course, for this to happen she would have to end her R with OM, so it's hard to say if the opportunity at reconciliation will ever come about.
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GD you have lots going for you and sounds like your GAL plan has really got your W thinking about you! Esp. all of these weekends away & trips! Wowzer! I bet she is wondering if there is a little lindy-hopping lady out there that might have caught your eye!
Thanks for the optimism! It did seem kind of obvious from my last convo with her yesterday that she was leaning in this direction. I mean, the whole slightly irritable comment "What Wendy thing?" when I told her I was doing another "Lindy thing" was kind of telling. I don't know, I'm really trying not to read into it too much, but also can't help but wonder if the seeds of doubt are actually beginning to sprout in W's mind.
Thanks for your nickel's worth, waw! It's always great to get perspective from the other side of the fence!
GD
Oh, and bummer about Bob not playing your favs, but it is the vibe and atmospher that they all create that makes the show so great IMO!
