What if you get disgusted? Then what?

[Dom R]

I just pitied him. I used it as an opportunity to humble him, to show him how ADULT, COMPASSIONATE people think.

oookay... so you want to play the teacher role.

FYI: that doesnt mesh well with the "wife" role.

And looking for "opportunities to humble him" doesnt, either.

After he commented about the fat lady, I just said "Some people wear their pain on the inside, some wear it on the outside. She must have a lot of pain, and that saddens me".

that was a positive, marriage-friendly thing to say.

That shut him up.

But that, was not a marriage-friendly way to think.


It sounds like you've got the outside (verbal) stuff down well. But you have a ways to go, to work on your inner stuff, ponygirl.
Both in the way you internally view/react to/accept your husband, and also the way you view yourself.

Your comment about that woman, and "maybe her marriage made her fat", makes me think the last bit.

No-one's marriage "makes them fat". No one's brother, kids, boss, inlaws, .. "makes" them fat. Because no-one, outside of medical facilities perhaps, FORCES food into someone else's mouth.

Adults are overweight, because they put more food in their own mouth, than they burn off in excercise. Period.
There may be "issues" they are trying to deal with, and they misuse food in a bad attempt to deal with those issues. But it is still their own choice to eat what they eat.
It's the same thing with alchohol, or affairs.

no-one "forced" so-and-so to drink too much. it's their own hand lifting the bottle.
no-one "forced" whoever, to go screw someone else and cheat on their spouse. No matter how badly the spouse treated them; it was still THEIR CHOICE to do what they did. no "forcing" involved. Because there were other choices they could have made, and they chose instead to commit adultery.