You are so right Theo, LO does not deserve any of the mistreatment she is getting!
I pity the man that ever mistreats one of your daughters! LOL. You go Theoden. What a wonderful man you are. Too bad all men don't have your way of thinking. Right is Right!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Can't Mr Can't Keep his D*ck in his Pants realize that he is destroying trust and intimacy in this relationship, and that you ability to really open up to him is completely shattered by this affair of his?
No, he won't let himself realize this point which I made over and over and over to him. That it's one thing to have the A, but another to throw it in my face every day. IC says that he's "self-medicating" by staying in the A. And this ok, how??? Ummm.. my understanding is that anything that you use to "self-medicate" is a barrier to relationships.
Originally Posted By: theoden
STOP trying to save you marriage. Your marriage is dead. It's a no-win situation. The only way out of this impasse is to start envisioning in you mind a happy future without him. He's not worthy of you. He's a very confused and sick man.
Yes.. the M is dead. I am understanding this point very well today. I can't do it anymore. I'm dead tired and emotionally fried living day in and day out with his adultery.
Think the thing about the French men is a bit of an old wives tale - don't think the French women are too understanding these days.
LO you deserve so much better. Sounds to me as tho' your H comes up with just one excuse after another. Just hope tonight is ok for you and doesn't push your H even further backwards.
Take care
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I don't know how you cope with OW being an ongoing thing. I got rid of H's OW before I knew about DBing. I guess H must have been ready for me to 'get rid' otherwise he wouldn't have told me of the A.
My heart really goes out to you and I will keep everything crossed to wish you luck for tonight.
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Just to be clear: I wasn't telling you to DO anything drastic today or tonight, or the next week. Take your time. If anything, time is on your side.
What I want for you is what I want for me: to lose the fear and realize that things can better FOR YOU with or without him. And that, if your husband should choose to wake up and join you in your happy new life, YOU get to decide if you want him.
The important thing for you to realize that:
You have much more power than you think.
Your husband isn't leaving anytime soon.
He's afraid to divorce you.
Not only do you need to change, HE needs to change too.
You hold ALL the cards. He's done his worst. It doesn't get worse for you -- only better.
OK....now stop and give thanks that you know you have power.
You are GAL not because you are afraid of losing him, but, because, you are excited about finding yourself and living life to the full.
Olive, I could envision you having a happy life with any one of us kilt-wearing, spandex-donning, cut-off short modeling dudes.
I can envision you having a great life with your husband, if he's up to the task of changing to catch up with your wonderful changes.
