It comes from breaking out of the co-dependent cycle. I HAD to be with my wife to be happy I thought. So, I smothered her, and I did it at the worst time, when she needed some space.

Now, I would LOVE to stay with my wife and work on our marriage, I would LOVE for my son to have his family intact, that would be a dream come true right now. But, I don't have to be with her to be happy. I truly believe we could make our R happier than it ever was, but she can't take the chance. The fear is too great that things will be like they were before. Nothing I do can change that, she has seen the changes in me and isn't impressed, so I'm not worrying about it anymore.

There is no happy ending to these divorces, so don't get the idea that I'm happy about this or anything, but it doesn't have to ruin your life. We do whatever we can to TRY to make it not ruin our kids' lives, but they're going to struggle, so we just have to be there for them. It's a sad situation no doubt. This could all be averted, but my wife needs to win, so she can win! she feels like I never let her win in our relationship, and I want her to win. If this is what she needs to be happy, then I'm there for her. Just not looking forward to all the lawyer crap. That will be miserable.

We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.

3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...