You sound wonderful. Don't you see what your anger is doing for you? It is helping you work through your real deeper emotions about H and the whole situation.
Without anger, you would be stuck. We need to feel anger to examine what has happened that we did not want to happen and to get in touch with the "why" and what we can do better in the future.
Anger, if used correctly, helps us to heal. That is what you are doing. But the healing process may reveal deeper issues and desires - that can be good and bad.
