20 Years Down.....and I'm Confused

[bambam1970]

Ok...another thread lock. Don't know how to link a thread, but don't think anything major happened on the last one!

Yesterday was the 20 year anniversary of our 1st date (we were 16). I was down and did a lot of reflecting. Those were great years for us. But we were kids.

So, I am thinking a lot about what I am feeling. It's confusing for me right now. I wonder if I love him anymore. I do in some ways, but I just don't know.

And, could I ever trust him again? I'm working on forgiving. Can I ever look at him w/anything but pain? Can I really build a future w/him when so much has happened b/w us?

I guess I'm questioning myself. What do I want? I know it's not a simple question and I can't make a decision today. But, it's just been a very emotional week for me. And....I just don't like him at all right now. That's hard.

On a good note....

drywaller called me and will be at the new house next week! Windows should go in by the end of July, too! Maybe this is what I need. I feel trapped in this house and really want my own place. I hope that will help me think clearer.

How is everyone today???