Sorry, I am in the middle of a big project and can't really follow another thread.
A couple of quick things --
-- leave MIL out of it totally. Wait until things are resolved one way or another with H to work on that R
Oops. Well, I wasn't trying to drag her into anything. Mainly wanted to establish no hard feelings.
Quote:
--"I do not feel prepared to get a divorce right this second; he doesn't want to give up the "option" of dating. When I tried to enforce the idea of no dating he immediately said that we should skip separating and get a divorce if that is how I feel."
He has told you he is not going to respect a boundary that you want if you merely separate. Divorce does seem a logical consequence.
Yes. Emotionally I do not want a divorce. But also, there are financial and logistical reasons that I don't want one. I really need to get my business back on track, figure out how I would pay for health insurance, etc.
Quote:
By all means, completely let go. It is the best chance you have. Whether you do that in the context of a sep or a D is really up to you. Some people don't manage it even after D. But, you aren't really holding onto anything. H is already gone. Your not letting go simply builds a big spider web around you that H must avoid if he is to retain his autonomy. No spider web = H can come closer if he wants to without giving up part of himself.
See, THAT is why I wanted you to look at things. You speak plainly and clearly. I appreciate the time that you did take to respond.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
