Theoden: Not sure where you came from, but I have learned a great deal from your posts on this thread and others. Thanks a million for your detailed insight all around. #7 is the key, the lynchpin to all of this. I am getting darn close. They key to this is significant GAL activities (as you say in #8).
Regarding abandoning running in favor of another physical activity, I cannot do that. It is passion for me. I love it. I weigh 200 pounds, but I still can run 10 miles without stopping or needing water. It's what I love to do. Agree 100% that it just gives me time to ruminate. But it also gives me time to reflect on what I am doing well, and what I need to do more of. It gives me clarity. I don't get mad. Indeed, I see this situation as a battle that I am in training for. Sounds weird, but every time I run I hear the "Rocky" themes in my head (Gonna Fly Now and Eye of the Tiger) and it's my battle cry. Sometimes I punch the air as I run. I am fighting for what is right. I have the Eye of the Tiger. Thanks for the advice, but running works for me, and it's all GOOD! This is a battle that I WILL win. Like Apollo Creed says: Eye of the Tiger: Passion to achieve a goal. I have it. (BTW, the goal is self-improvement and independence, not saving the marriage. That is of secondary concern.)
Regarding # 15 (can't believe you offered me all of this great stuff!!): I go to church every Sunday. And I pray not for me, or for us. I pray only for her. I will be able to take care of myself. I will survive, with or without her.
Husband: I have corresponded with the OM's wife in the past (email and IM). She says his sweating as awful, and a huge turn-off. Very high yuck factor.
Agree that I cannot give her anything to talk to him about. I don't think she will consciously come to my defense. But it may be a subconscious reaction. Regardless, I have confidence that I am moving in the right direction.
Thanks to both of you for your support. I feel better now. The wine helps, too...
