Mark, I think your plan is great. I totally get it, too. I'm on day 8 with no fighting with H and being really pleasant/upbeat/busy. in fact, I only wish I could be a fly on the wall when he goes to therapy tomorrow...first time in a while he won't have me to use "look at my psycho/emotional/desperate wife." He'll have to actually look at himself, hopefully it will swing a bit in my favor. and hopefully the same thing will with your wife.
I also get what you are saying when you imagine the showering, etc. I do stuff like that, too, and it sucks. its so detrimental, at least while you are trying to make things worse. I'm certainly not pefect with it, but starting to use my Stop! mantra more and more. As soon as my mind starts to go to things like that, I literally just say stop and go on to something else. so far its helping most of the time. not all the time, mind you, but some of it.
good luck, hope your plan makes you feel better. now you need to schedule a nice massage to help ease those tired muscles!
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
