We have one MC session coming up during the first month of separation. This is the only time we will have any contact, unless we need to discuss any important arrangements (financial, emergencies, our movements, etc) - which we can do via email. No R talk or general talk at all. This dark period will end at around the time our MC sessions restart, at which point we will decide how we are feeling and how to open up more contact.
This decision was reached because my W wanted to be sure we don't rush back together for the wrong reasons. I agreed that a dark period was important for clearing our minds and giving us space. To be honest, I haven't a clue what the future holds - this may be the end.
So far I am doing fine, surprisingly fine. I feel quite free to do what I please and not seeing her helps in this regard. Of course I miss her and love her, but I don't like the silence. However, it's only day 4 and I've kept myself really busy up until now. Filling the next few weeks will be harder as I don't want to exhaust my supply of friends / activities. I've also got other things going on like applying for a new job which is distracting me. I have so much on my mind ...
The only other rule was about sleeping with others. We agreed that we wouldn't (my request), but each time I think about it I never quite recall it in such clear terms as that, so I try to get off the subject. I'm fairly certain she wouldn't want to sleep with anyone while she remains confused, she would feel too guilty. Still, she's always told me it's never been a problem for her to find people willing to sleep with her (i.e. before me), which unerves me. She can also view sex as a purely physical act which makes it much easier to detach. I can't. I am too sensitive and emotional. For me sex is as much about love.
Does this make things any clearer?
Sounds like your sitch is moving fast.
Max
Me 36 W 37 Bomb (Easter 07) Sep (WAW July 07) "It's over" (end Oct 07) T10.5 years, M2 (before bomb)
