Ah I see what you're saying. Yeah, I am. (my first thought was you were telling me that my "true self" wasn't good enough for M... geez.. issues to work on there)
If I didn't have that fear what would I do? I honestly don't know.
On the first part talking about me figuring out how to take care of myself better... I'd like to think that H is at least a friend right now and a friend would want to know what was going on with me? And hopefully be in my corner as I figure out how to stand up for myself. But then since it's his behavior I'm standing up against does that even make any sense??
On the second part addressing the contact with OW/PW until I figure out what to do... if I were unafraid of hurting my M... I would keep pushing to be told the truth. And honestly, probably issue some kind of ultimatem. The contact stops now, or we're separating again until the contact stops (if ever). But I agree with you that I'm really not ready to do that.
