Does my wife have MLC? HELP!!!

[sandi2]

Ok, I found their site. Thanks so much. I know I have a very long way to go. I took an on-line "test" to see if I had a real MLC and marked almost all but two. That's not good.

I agree about the "shock" ...it depends on the person, I'm sure. Even though it did knock some sense into me, it did not shock me out of the crisis. I have a long, long way to go and I need all the help any of you will offer to me. I hate this! I want to snap out of it, but it doesn't happen like that. It feels like I'm sick and can't get over it. A lot of mine is mingled with physical problems, so the depression gets tough. I have no energy. I think if I just felt good and had the energy to "deal" with life, then I could start to heal from everything. I don't feel like going into work, but then when I stay home, I get so depressed. So, it is a vicious circle.

I know I need some close friends because over the years, I don't have friends over to the house. It seems like they all kind of disappeared. I used to be the kind of person that just HAD to have friends....and then I went for years that I really didn't have anyone close other than my family.

I have lost interest in everything. My poor H has had to do the cooking for months now. I barely keep our clothes washed to have to go to work. My activities at church has went by the way side. My hobbies have all ceased. I don't enjoy watching a movie or reading like I used to do. I have been trying to do a lot of reading about DR and things like that, but I mean just for enjoyment. Along with knowing that I'm not doing what I should be doing around the home induces a lot of guilt and more depression. So, why don't I just "snap" out of it? I wish to God I could! It is the most awful feeling I've ever had.

Those who don't understand will think this sounds like I am just focused on myself. They will think I am having a pity-party. I used to be one of those people, but now that I am experiencing it first hand....I have changed my mind completely. Trust me, nothing would make me more happier than if I could wake up in the morning and everything would be back to normal....especially me. I just want to feel like my old self again and be the person I used to be.

I hope you new friends that I have met and have been here for me will stand by me on these days that I am having a hard time. Last night when I laid my head down on my pillow....I began to sob my heart out. I don't know why. I felt so sad about everything. I try to count my blessings and I can look at others that don't have as much as I do, etc., but you see, that does not seem to work...and that is what makes me so sick at myself. I can understand why some people would not have any patience with someone like me....I don't like myself either...but I want to get better. That is why I am trying to read and reach out to you all and to pray to get through this hell on earth. I don't want to go through years of it...I don't think I can stand it. I want to do whatever I can to stop it and get better.