It's OK to emotionally explode and lose it. It's fine to have a crying fit. It's normal. I feel better afterwards.
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I am quite certain this is a big part of why he hasn't left yet. He KNOWS that people will judge him and his life will fall apart more than it already has.. At that time, he can't deny and pretend any longer. The truth will be known.
I like this perspective. It does make me feel more powerful. I could scream about his infidelity from the rooftops. How would it hurt me any more than I'm already hurt? Might make me look like a scorned woman gone a bit off the deep end but, people would understand, right?? Ok.. not going to do it now but.. hmmmm... more power than I thought.. Thanks Theo
This is what my friend calls the nuclear option. You use it when there's nothing left to lose. You use it when you are ready to file. It could go 100 ways. No results guaranteed. Does the OW have a husband? Or is she single and ready to shack up with your husband? Email me before you use it. There are ways to use it and there are ways not to. You don't need to come off as a desperate scorned woman.
Yes...you have power, but you choose not to blow everything up because you are still trying to heal things. You are not a victim. You, actually, hold most of the cards. You just have to see that you do. Your biggest power is to refuse to go along with his craziness. It's the power of NO.
Olive, I want to have sex with you. NO
Olive, go ahead and leave me, we are no good together. NO
Olive, please don't tell my family. NO. I'll do what I want.
Olive, please tolerate my affair. NO.
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Very, very true statement... Don't know how much more of the lies, hurtfulness and downright wickedness that I can take.
Then draw your boundaries from a position of STRENGTH, not WEAKNESS. Go crazy with your GAL plan, and, as your power grows you'll not care anymore what he thinks. Soon, you'll be able to do this.
