Karen1, some one on the NG forum wrote "top my bottom," which I read as the guy was in control of the sex by making his W initiate 99% of the time.
Don't know it that describes Mr. K1 or not. Maybe a small part?
Interesting. I remember once reading a novel in which the male protagonist was a very successful man who after encountering sexual rejection a few times early on in his life decided that he would consider himself a sexual "success" when he was so successful and "manly" otherwise that he wouldn't have to try to seduce women because they would just jump his bones because he was so attractive. Since he saw women as generally having the upper hand sexually, he would be in some sense more on top by being chased/treated like a bottom. Kind of fascinating ( to me anyways - lol ) to compare/contrast that POV with the one Stu and others have brought up which is that having a woman actively pursue him made him feel low drive/unmanly/like a prisoner being molested. So really both problems with narrow bandwidth just at different ends of the spectrum. One of the things that made me nuts about my 2bx was that he would flip-flop on this issue. Sometimes I was too assertive and sometimes I wasn't assertive enough. Kind of like how sometimes I was too fat and sometimes my boobs were too small because I lost weight - lol .
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
