Sloooooooowwww down. You seem to be in a pretty reactive place right now. He just asked to resume MC. When is your appointment? Can you postpone a decision until that appointment?
Yes, schedule the MC.
Schedule IC too. Work on those boundaries. Did you read that book?
Yes, get back to basics.
As for the spare bedroom/friends only thing, can you give yourself a day or two on that??? I dunno -- I am just not convinced that you are really ready for those steps.
(Yes, I know this is confusing as I have been urging you to stand up for yourself. I don't know how to say this, but you seem to be flailing about trying to hit on something that will work rather than making those choices as ones that will work for you. It is, of course, impossible for me to know that. Only you can know where you are...)
How about something like: "H, I'm not going to be more into this R than you are right now. So, I will be taking a bit of space. Thanks for bringing up MC. Does an appointment on Tuesday work for you?"
Then, take the space you need, whatever that is.
Of course, maybe that *is* separate rooms/friends only. If so, definitely go for it. But do it when you have kind of a settled feeling about it. You'll know. And, if that is where you are, I don't think it would be a bad thing.
I hope that makes sense. I really don't want to discourage you from doing what works best for you.
