Do I buy a house? What about sex?

[Dom R]

I let him know that I was talking about not doing all the work to make a divorce happen; that I wasn't going to stand in his way,but I also wasn't going to hold his hand. He backed down.

His frame of mind right this second is that we will never work out (or it's a near impossibility)-so, based on that, the "threat" of divorce would be a blessing in his mind. How in the world can I *not* give into him? (Assuming I don't want a divorce.) Am I nuts to think that if I offer him his freedom to make a choice that I have better chance?

I think that your first bit, answers your second bit.
It's not your place to "offer him his freedom". Nor "threaten".
NOR, for that matter, "give in".

you cant STOP him from getting a divorce (in most states anyway), so there is no "giving in".
It is his choice to get one, or not get one.

Dont make it your choice, by "offering" one.


Just stick to "if he wants a divorce, he can do the work for it".
Stop fighting about it, just stick to what you already told him in the first bit I quoted.

you'll work together on your marriage, but you wont work together on a divorce.

That's my suggestion.