Do I buy a house? What about sex?

[Trixi]

Wow.. you have a funny kind of WAS.. the kind that tells you how to get him back.

let me repeat myself,
HE IS TELLING YOU HOW TO GET HIM BACK

he's testing you. Fight for him. Fight him. Show him that you care. Show him that you have moral standards. Dont tell him what he is doing is ok.
He's indirectly, in a wierd way, looking to you for moral guidance. he says he wants a counsellor to "talk him out of it", but I think what he wants is to hash it out with YOU.

I have fought him several times on this in the past, and he is absolutely convinced that he MUST have this time to himself and also thinks I should have "let him go" in the past.

Sometimes I wonder if he isn't coaching me so that I can do better in my next relationship.

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place with him. Last night I told him that I wasn't going to make this "easy" for him because it isn't what I want, etc and he immediately got nasty and said "Why would you wanting to f'ing drag this out and waste money on lawyers?? Why can't we just agree on things?!" I let him know that I was talking about not doing all the work to make a divorce happen; that I wasn't going to stand in his way,but I also wasn't going to hold his hand. He backed down.

I do not feel prepared to get a divorce right this second; he doesn't want to give up the "option" of dating. When I tried to enforce the idea of no dating he immediately said that we should skip separating and get a divorce if that is how I feel.

His frame of mind right this second is that we will never work out (or it's a near impossibility)-so, based on that, the "threat" of divorce would be a blessing in his mind. How in the world can I *not* give into him? (Assuming I don't want a divorce.) Am I nuts to think that if I offer him his freedom to make a choice that I have better chance?