Do I buy a house? What about sex?

[Dom R]

Ermmm...I am really confused by what you have said.
He told me that if *I* really have a problem with the idea of him having sex, then *I* will have to be the one to initiate a divorce. "You need to do what you need to do."

He told me that he wanted to have no rules regarding sex since his whole goal was to know what it is like to be free. And any rules mean he isn't free.

1. He's trying to put blame/responsability for his actions on you. Do not let him do that. Tell him that it is his choice whether or not to cheat, and his choice whether or not to end your marriage

2. tell him that he ISNT free: he's a married man, by his own choice. You dont have the power to "force" him to be married: if he no longer wishes to be married, that would be his choice to make also.

I don't think the cooking was having any positive impact.

If he likes your cooking(and I think you said that he does), then betcha you are wrong. The "call of the wild" may have a stronger pull on him right now... but that doesnt mean that the cooking had no impact.

If you choose to withhold your cooking from him as a punishment for him treating you badly.... well, that's YOUR choice. Dont shortsell yourself though, that it had no effect.

Do you not believe the old wisdon, "the way to a man's heart is through is stomach"? I think the biggest reason that isnt said as much any more, is because far fewer women can actually cook. If you are one of those who can... use your talents to your advantage.

PS: if eating together at the table is just horrible... that doesnt mean you have to stop coooking for him, if you wish to do so. you can choose to keep some leftovers for him in the fridge, if you wish.

Contrariwise, a *good* cooked meal, could be used as incentive for him to come home "early".

Maybe wait for him to start missing it, then offer, on *certain* nights of the week,
"I was thinking of cooking [favourite dish] thursday. If you feel like being home at a reasonable hour that day, i'll make enough for you too".


Just some thoughts,.