Do I buy a house? What about sex?

[Trixi]

Agent99,

2 months is really not very long at all. You would think if he was genuinely thinking he would need more time that that. You'd barely get settled in that time. Also the comment about not seriously dating is a bit weak, I hope any other party sees it that way too.

Finally, I'm with you on the fun stuff. One of the issues I have with my W living on her own in the city is that she will naturally feel life is more exciting and that life with me was more boring. What's a guy to do? Better not think about it and get on with my own fun.

Max

Yes, I feel like my hands are tied in so many ways. Theoretically, I suppose we (as the LBS) could create an exciting vibrant life without them. I know one of my "hold-ups" on that front is that I still hope for my H to change his mind and I don't want there to be no room left for him in my life. How dumb is that??? Argh.

Last night we went over a controlled separation agreement. Agreed to 3 months with an option to extend if necessary. See eachother once a week to go over finances, whatever, and *do* something like ride bikes, go for a hike; something different and something he "might even look forward to". :|

Went over the finances and touched on finances in the event of a divorce. ugh

Right now, he is just chomping at the bit to get out of here. I did ask him if he was agreeing to a separation just to appease me and his mind was already made up- nice big pregnant pause on his part and then, "well, I told you last night that I didn't see us being together. but, I am open to the idea that I could change my mind." Looks like I have my work cut out for me.

He seemed to have a rather fatalistic view and said things that indicated his mind is made up. My *hope* is that his thinking has polarized because he still lives here and that once he is out and the novelty wears off, that things won't seem so clear cut to him. Perhaps I am hanging on to false hope, but I have read enough stories to know that I shouldn't believe what he says.

I put in a call to his mom to see if she was mad at me. She hasn't even called to say "Wow, so sorry you are going thru this." I don't expect her to turn on her son and say anything against him; I just would have expected some kind of sympathy and maybe a "feel free to call if you need to". Hopefully that wasn't a dumb move on my part.

I wish there were a local DB chapter to get together with people at. That is one of the hardest things about this- I don't have a big network of friends (H was bestfriend) that I feel like I can turn to *that would understand*. I have people I can call, but they haven't been thru this and don't know the DB principles.

(((((((((((((((((((GROUP HUG))))))))))))))))))))