I would rather be without sex for the rest of my life than be without my wife.
You know of course that this is a highly fused statement. By adopting this viewpoint you are in some sense condemning your wife to a life without hot sex also. You are saying "I will work endlessly to promote and maintain our pair-bond at the expense of our sexuality. I would rather have you as a china doll in the cabinet of my heart than confront the perhaps dark and daunting or heart-breaking or simply depressing reality of your sexuality." or something like that. Consider the combination of Corri's saga and my saga (and that of my 2bx.)and the advice offered by NOP. There is something to be learned. Your desire to protect or "love" your wife is only superficially "selfless". There is a little chemical pump going off in your brain that is working in opposition to the one pumping the testosterone. I suggest that you gain the self-awareness that will allow you to flex the muscle that will turn off the flow or at least reduce it to a manageable level. It's not bad anymore than a free strong flow of testosterone is bad but it actually is the case that gaining control will allow you to prime and pump more effectively.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
