No way! OM is married too and I was "there" on the webcam for the entire convo. Plus, I really didn't do or say anything -- it was OM that was saying the stuff that would be considered inappropriate, so I'm not worried that he's going to say anything. I'm just glad it's kind of "out in the open" with H. It's kind of "funny" though that H has had numerous A's and yet he doesn't think that I would do anything like that. I wouldn't, but still.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Ok, folks, I need a HUGE 2 x 4 here. I know this is going to sound absolutely absurd, but OM has now made me feel like a total fool and like I'm some sort of OW or something when that is the farthest thing from the truth.
However, w/ all that has happened w/ H, my confidence & self esteem is probably pretty low right now too and that's probably why the attention from OM was so nice. Now I'm feeling completely dumped and/or rejected again and have no reason to feel that way.
Anyway, what happened is this: OM texts me and says "W has my phone all day today. No texts please." AS IF I have been texting him and/or pursuing him or something!!! It's absolutely ridiculous, but like I said, I feel like he's acting like I'm the psycho one or something instead of him being the one telling me he wanted to have S w/ me, got a hard on when he saw me and went home and took care of it while thinking of me, etc.
Ok, just venting, but for real I feel so very stupid right now. Like I said, I think the attention, albeit slightly out in left field type attention, fed my ego that had been so stomped on recently by H and now this guy's acting like it was me that was doing this stuff.
Maybe I'll feel better now that I've vented, but it truly pissed me off.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I'm glad you told your H. It did work out perfectly. Even the part where now you see what a creep OM is. Yuch. You are exactly right about what he did. He sent you those notes and got his rocks off fantasizing about you. I love what your H texted to him. He doesn't want you telling HIS wife now.
Just be careful about OM. I was being hassled by my H's sister's H. It started about 7 months before I found out about my H's A. I immediately told my H what was happening, (it started when we were staying for xmas), and asked my H to make sure I was never alone with his sister's H. Not knowing about my H's affair, (which was in the miidle of it's hight), I couldn't understand why my H was not bothered at all by it but we decided we should not say anything to his sister who had only recently had two sons by IVF.
The guy carried on coming on to me for a long period and gradually we had to tell my two oldest daughters so that they made sure he was never given an opportunity to be with me by myself. Even so he kept phoning and asking if he cld come and visit by himself - my response was always to tell my H what had been said and to tell the guy that it wld be lovely to see ALL his family.
Eventually my H's affair came out and then H's sister husband stepped up his attentions. I then cut off all family contact with my H's agreement and we used my H's affair as the excuse.
After a few months my H's mother started pushing for us to go back to family get togethers and I was getting very upset about the pressure. My H then told his mother about what his sisters husband had been doing in order to get his mother to understand and back off. He also asked her to keep the info to herself as we didn't see the need to upset his sister.
This seemed to be a good plan until my H's sisters husband got twitchy about us not meeting up and so when he was drunk he told my MIL I had been pusuing him!!!! BA$!*&D
MIL has now made everything very public in the family and it is ripping us all apart. My MIL says I should have never even told my H about what had happened - but where would I and my H be if I hadn't. My H and I have now cut off completely from my H's mother, sister and her family. It's all a big mess.
Be carefull Cadesmom34 that this guy isn't working up to turning the sitch on you. A man can be a tricky thing if his pride has been hurt by rejection - giving them a graceful way out doesn't always work.
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Well, rec'd an email from him this a.m. Just deleted it and will not respond. I'll go from there. I'm thinking he probably has figured it out and won't pursue, but we'll see. 1. He's probably afraid my H would kick his a$$ if he ever found out (I think that H's comments the other night, even jokingly, probably woke him up a bit) and 2. his W seems to me to be the bread winner in their family and I don't think he would want to lose his sugar mamma -- that's what I've ALWAYS thought about him anyway. I had already deleted him out of my address book, etc.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
If it "shook him up" a bit when you husband said something to him, then why is still pursuing?
Take the precautions - this could get sticky
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I don't know if he is pursuing or not. That's why I said I'll wait & see what happens when I don't respond to his email. His email was more "chatty" than anything else, so who knows what he's thinking. I'm still really p*ssed off about his text to me yesterday acting like I was going after him or something. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. Oh well, like I said, I'm just going to let it ALL go -- it's a done deal as far as I'm concerned. I'm friends w/ his W as well -- well more like acquaintenances, but if he keeps it up, I might just call her and see if she wants to go to lunch some time. We work really close to each other and had talked about it before. That would wake him up. Of course, I'm not going to say anything to his W, but it would probably scare him a lot thinking I could be telling her things.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I'm friends w/ his W as well -- well more like acquaintenances, but if he keeps it up, I might just call her and see if she wants to go to lunch some time. We work really close to each other and had talked about it before. That would wake him up. Of course, I'm not going to say anything to his W, but it would probably scare him a lot thinking I could be telling her things.
That sounds to me like you're getting mentally sucked into a "game" with him. Don't aim at getting any sort of a reaction out of him. Just route all messages from his address into a special folder that you'll only open up if you need evidence of what he sent you, and carry on as if he didn't exist. Hang out with his wife or not as you please, for your own reasons.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
Sounds sensible to me. I never kept any evidence when I was bothered by a guy and I really could have done with it when it backfired - I just never expected to need it!!
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
