You MUST carve out something for yourself. I have four biological kids too - 3mos, 3yo, 10yo and 15yo. I am Godmother to three under 3 and foster Mom to 16 adults ranging in age from 19 to 29. I am not superhuman and I'm not unusual. I have been raising children of all levels of need for 15 years. I don't get a lot of time to myself but I get some. When I get more I do better. I am more sure of myself, happier, feel more valued etc... DO ANYTHING that you can work out - join a gym with childcare (the hour three times/week won't kill your kids), YMCA's are usually nice, join MOPS (this is a Christian group for Moms of preschoolers - it is international), find a Women's Coalition to join, a bookclub, leisure classes at your community college. Whatever. Take a class on-line and make your H watch the kids so you can do the homework.
I'm not saying that your H doesn't have issues but when you don't see yourself as important, your spouse has trouble doing so (I know. I lived it.). You may have sexual issues in the M and doing stuff for you won't fix them but they will do a lot for your enjoyment of your life and your own self respect.
Have you read Michelle's books? Have you looked at the 180's threads? Have you made a list that you are working on?
