We talked about scuba certification. We talked about getting a boat.
I like the we talk. That's fine and necessary. There's a need to re-build the we. I know you are all about the team.
However.....
Remember, part of what gives the WAS spouse power in the relationship is the LBS's belief that they can only be happy if there is a we. It might, perhaps, be too easy for you to go want to set the clock back when there was a we. The new wethat you build with your husband will only work if YOU know who YOU are. There needs to be new HB before there's a new we.
I think you are moving towards the new HB.
Please don't short circuit this important step. Your GAL activities still need to be about YOU. And don't ever give that up. Your husband needs to be in awe of who YOU are.
And for that matter, your husband needs to find himself and GAL on his own terms, otherwise, his personal demons will re-surface down the line.
If you recall, your husband felt he became invisible in the we that you guys used to be. Who is driving the we activities now? If it's you, please consider backing off. If it's him, you might step back and also encourage him to find things that mean something to HIM. It's possible that part of his desire to do we activities is to set the clock back, too.
Congratulations on winning the war. Now it's time to win the peace.
