The Plank is out of my eyes, but too late for WAW?

[Heimlich]

So, I was finally able to be the laid-back, funny guy I really am inside last night with my W. I worked late (well, I stayed in the office late. Since Sunday, I've been preoccupied with my W's desire to end our M so I was doing some aimless Web surfing because I didn't want to go home.).

I got home around 8:30. She had cooked dinner. It looked like things had been ready for awhile, but when I asked if she had waited for me she said, "No, I just finished." Whatever. We sat down and had a good, light conversation over dinner. I told her about some of the funnier moments of my recent time in LA (since we hadn't really spoken over the phone. I was/am proud of myself for not calling/emailing her like I had done the first 3 weeks I spend down home).

Since she cooked, I did the dishes (something we've done since we've been married, not a 180 or DBing technique there). We chit-chatted a bit. She then called me over. One of our cats was sitting in a ladderback chair and she was cracking up; he looked like he was in prison, especially when he poked his head through the slats. She then pointed out a beer in the fridge that she had saved for me to try (she discovered beer almost exactly a year ago. Dogfish Head rules!). While she says it's over, our friendship is still intact.

I had also noticed when I returned home that she had bought skim milk, whole wheat bread, yogurt (for breakfast smoothies), and some lunch meat -- all for me. We get along so well, and she does these kind things for me, but still says she wants our M to be over. I just thanked her for buying that stuff for me without her pointing it out. Again, this is a simple act of kindness to me that she did not have to do.

At any rate, we wished each other good night and she went up to bed and I to the basement. No hug or kiss and I refrained, unlike in the past, from using body language to finagle either from her.

She also asked me, out of habit, I guess, if there were any problems with her going to a b-day dinner with co-workers on Wed. I said no, I have my first dance lesson that night anyway. Have fun. I wasn't looking at her, but I heard a tiny "oh."

A question for everyone: I know that she wants to begin the D process. I told her on Sunday that I would appreciate it if we could hold off on that conversation for a few days. That I don't feel strong enough to have that yet. I really don't. Was that a mistake? Should I bring it up again or wait until she mentions it? She knows I don't want a D, but I almost think that at least asking her if she's ready to talk about it before she asks me would be a 180. Opinions?

Her bday is Thursday. I asked her before work if I could take her to dinner that evening. She got a panic-type look in her eye and said, "Yes" Then, "We'll see". I said that I really would like to take you out, but that if you're uncomfortable that's fine. There's a whole bday backstory from when she was a kid. Aunts/uncles always lumped her bday with a cousin, but focused on the cousin, not my W. My dumba$$ never picked up on this (I've never been big on bday celebrations for myself) and that my wife really wanted to feel special on her bday. If she were even semi-committed to the R, I would have thrown a silly bday party for just the two of us (some ballons, made a cake, hats and pin the tail on the donkey). I know that would be pressure, but I did want to acknowledge her bday (I forgot it -- stupid, stupid, stupid -- the year before last or last year, can't remmeber which).

BD