CVA - Thread 2, Hold mode

[stillme]

Originally Posted By: CVA
What comes around, goes around I guess. I have been a jerk / ass and its coming around.

CVA, what I thought of when I read that was my feeling the exact way a few months ago. Like you, H & I have been S for 4 months so we parallel some there; but I couldn't find where exactly you may have said when the Bomb(s) hit and/or when you started DBing efforts. In any case, I'm thinking you'll work thru the I'm To Blame Phase (on your own time, o/c) & know, not only in your head but in your heart that it wasn't all your fault/issues/problems. Others told me to stop blaming myself; stop acting the victim AS WELL AS the martyr (funny how that works!) & I didn't see it until later. You'll get thru this. It's overwhelming in the moment, but does not - cannot - last forever.

Also, great kid you got there. Obviously very bright & sympathetic, with a sweet heart. Good job to you.

I certainly agree you should spend some alone-time w/the kids (one-on-one, or all at the same time) as often as you can arrange. It will not only allow W the space she's after, but give you some connection-time w/your "babies" (and, yeah, I know how old they are; but they will always be our babies, no?) YOu need it, and they need it. And you deserve it.

Being tired and being away (from 'home' or otherwise) is tough. Hang in there, try to stop negative thoughts (at least for this time away) & post. We're here to listen.

j