Madonna/Whore Complex - Part 6

[Martelo]

I think Lil has a good point.

One of the things that i found surprising about doing the "homework"
that the sex therapist assigned was how much of a challenge it was
for myself personaly. You kind of think that you are not the "patient" and
then it kind of turns around and bites you.

It's natural to have expectations and even trying to get the exercises done
can push your buttons. I think that the therapists know this and is part of deal
it may even be a large part of the learning.

I'm glad that things are going so well, just remember that growth isn't
always smooth and easy but it's worth it.

[Lillieperl]

Yes, I know perhaps I should have approached it a little differently but I am so exhausted from always being the one that's brings this to the forefront.

Believe me, I TOTALLY get this. I'm the one who dragged my BF to THREE different therapists. I completely understand the weariness you feel when it's always you who brings up something, and the disappointment when your partner always slithers away from something they claim is important to them. It makes you LIVID, hurt, discouraged, despondent, hopeless, exhausted, anxious... Here you have a fantastic therapist who is handing you the gold-plated tools to make good progress at a slow pace where NO ONE needs to feel threatened or inadequate... and your H is evading, sidestepping, "forgetting," taking refuge in being tired... it's enough to pi$$ off the Pope! (Don't get me started on the Pope, these days!)

All I'm saying is TELL HIM how you feel about the situation instead of keeping your feelings to yourself and tossing out a timid comment that focuses on him, i.e., "I guess this is how you feel, what you're wanting, what you plan to do."

I know this isn't "fair," and that you should not have to doing all of this for some simple straightforward affection... unfortunately that's the hand you've been dealt.

[Heywyre]

All true, and comments welcomed by all.

Blood tests were ALL negative

Let the fun begin !!!!

[RedHeadWife]

Glad to hear it, Hey! I'll be thinking of you two. I really do hope things start to progress before you just give in w/ exhaustion.

[Heywyre]

Here's hoping the "exhaustion" is from sex

[RedHeadWife]

Hear, hear!!!! Go for it, lady!!

[COG]

That is when he suggested instead of the SF perhaps we could just go to bed in the nude - Yeee Haww - I am all for that!

So that's what we did and it was great!

Ditto the YEE HAW!! The ST IS working. Eventually it's got to be natural anyway, so good for him for suggesting it and at least even trying it.. Your H obviously likes being in control.

He did get an erection before we fell asleep and again this morning

Okay well that's getting a little too scientific. I would suggest you not be counting anything. Just let things flow.

Keep UP the good work!

Love,

COG

[Heywyre]

I know it seemed like I was counting COG but when its been almost 3 years since anything happened, wouldn't you be counting too?

[Greeneyedlass]

Heywyre, I know what you mean...you aren't keeping count. It's more like a mental notation of WOW, this happened again...cool!

[Heywyre]

Totally - its pretty hard (no pun intended) NOT to remember when it happens so rarely (if at all)

Of course, nothing else has happened since then but H told me he is starting to feel "closer" to me now that we are sleeping in the nude on a regular basis. I have gone to bed like that every night, even sometimes when he has not, ever since HE suggested it as being a "good idea". The times he hasn't is when he goes to bed before me (due to work) but he always makes a comment about how I am in the nude and he's not. Don't know if something more progressive will happen this weekend because we go to see the ST on Monday (after 3 weeks) and I am sure H will be feeling a little pressure that he will have nothing to tell the ST about our "progress"